When someone suddenly disappears, it can devastate their family in every sense. Suspended between grief and hope, their loved ones cling to what little information they can gather themselves, while those responsible often refuse to admit any involvement.
This is why – of all the cases our joint Head of Advocacy, Anna-Lee Stangl, has worked on over the last 20 years – nothing has stuck with her like cases of forced disappearance. Here, Anna-Lee describes what it’s like to meet the loved ones left behind.
What do you mean by ‘missing’?
It’s often more complicated than simply forcing someone to disappear against their will. At CSW, we’re usually dealing with disappearances carried out by a government or an illegal armed group, such as Boko Haram in Nigeria.
Government agents can go to great lengths to disguise their involvement. For example, they often use unmarked cars, masked officers, or conduct raids at midnight – all of which leaves the victim’s families with no names, no witnesses, and no evidence that their loved one was ever abducted. Even if they’re sure that the authorities are responsible, how can they possibly prove it?
What is the impact on those who are left behind?
It’s without a doubt a form of emotional torture that can impact generations. Enforced disappearance can trigger mental health issues for families and loved ones as they try to navigate – sometimes for the rest of their lives – the mental and emotional space of never knowing.
Some spend all they have trying to uncover the truth, so it can be financially destructive, too.
Tell us about some of the people you’ve met.
In 2007 in Peru, I met two women whose husbands had been taken by the military or police during Peru’s internal conflict. The men hadn’t been arrested or charged with anything; they were taken by force and just disappeared.
I remember how each woman held folders filled with information they’d gathered in trying to find out what had happened. As they shared their stories, I noticed how they clung to their folders as if they were the most precious things in the world. Those folders were like the last pieces they had of their husbands.
More than 60,000 people were killed or disappeared in Peru during its internal conflict, and many of them are still waiting for answers.
It must be incredibly tough to process their absence while still pursuing the truth. How do people persevere?
People respond in very different ways to the trauma of the disappearance of a loved one and it is important to recognise that there is no one right way to react. They may draw the strength to persevere from many different places, including their faith, their love for the missing person and also from the support of others around them.
Susannna Koh and her children have been seeking answers since her husband and their father, Pastor Raymond Koh, was abducted on the street in Malaysia in 2017. Susanna has shared how the thousands of prayers and messages of support that she has received since then uplift her.
Above all, she thanks God for keeping her head above the waves, helping her rise above the most difficult circumstances like an eagle over a storm: ‘We will not faint or grow weary because we’re fixing our eyes on God.’
You can help support people like Susanna through praying, giving and campaigning.
‘We don’t want people to forget. We want them to remember and to continue to pray.’ – Susanna Koh